Warning: certain of the images you are about to see contain disturbing material. In fact, I would even recommend reading this post on an empty stomach, perhaps with a friend or loved one nearby for comfort. Because what you are about to see is not pretty. I am personally still recovering (as is my injured muffin-top). Perhaps I shouldn’t be so disturbed, because it’s my pasty white stomach and borderline cameltoe (there, I said it) that I am about to show you. And I should probably be comfortable with them by now. But you, well, that’s another story. You didn’t ask for this. And for that, friends, I am truly sorry (not that you didn’t ask, but that you have to suffer through this viewing). But once I begin an investigation, I don’t stop until the mission is complete.
As you may know, about a month ago, I decided to try out Indi Denim, an East Bay company promising $135 custom jeans cut to customers’ measurements and designed according to their specifications. For background, you can read my two previous posts on the ordering process:
Last week, I finally received my jeans. They arrived on Wednesday June 25, just shy of a month after I placed the order on May 31. They were neatly packaged and arrived carrying all the details I’d requested (back pocket flaps, distressed edges, etc.):
But the fit. Oh, man. It was terrible. I’d taken each measurement several times using a dressmaker’s tape measure, so I was surprised at how off it was.
Against my better judgment, I now reveal to you the tragi-comedy that ensued as I stepped into these jeans:
I know. You can say it. Oh MY god. As my husband said with his characteristic matter-of-factness, right before shielding his eyes, “The fit is not good.”
Next up, my impression of Bret Michaels, only without the massive unit. Just check out this pick from Rock of Love 2, and I think you’ll get what I’m sayin’.
I would show you more, but they are really embarrassing. So I won’t. Because I am not sure my fragile self-esteem can recover from knowing that tons of strangers have seen my denim-swaddled crotch region in this compromised state (or any state, for that matter).
To be fair to the folks at Indi Denim, they do offer customers the option to reorder for free, but I didn’t feel like expending the energy to re-enter all my measurements, fit choices and specifications. On top of that, I wasn’t that impressed with the fabric. So I’m returning them to the company, which does offer a refund within 30 days, minus the cost of shipping.
And that, folks, is all I have to say about that.
**Update: Please check out all posts in this series**